If some of you have been paying attentions, you know that I have been itching for a new source of income...I once thought that if my brain couldn't assist in the transition, that my body would do the talking for me. Hello! The conversation has begun!

One word: podiatrist. A waiter/bartender's nightmare. See, I've got this bunion, and it is not my friend. In fact, it is mine enemy at present. Said podiatrist took an x-ray of my right foot to "see what's really going on in there." Well, it wasn't pretty. My big toe is dancing to a completely different drummer. The solution is surgery, which we both agreed was major and something that I will wait to do until I am absolutely hosuebound by the pain. Apparently I can look forward to that in a few years. In the meantime, we address the symptoms: ice the bunion and get orthotics to help. They'd better help at about 500 uncovered-by-insurance dollars.

At least I now know why my knee and my back are always out of whack on my right side...one goddamned big toe is to blame. Who knew?!

Starting to get excited about my birthday...whoo hoo. I was trying to figure out a way to be out of the city for the weekend, especially since it is Father's Day the day after and I don't want to see my dad so close to my bday. He's been really ticking me off lately. I shouldn't be surprised, but I guess I am perpetually optimistic. I somehow expect that the lies and attitude will change, oh well. Freud would have made a lifetime case out of me! It would have taken him two lifetimes for dad though, hah.

SO what do you do when you can't stand to be with you parents? Most people just suck it up...but I have been doing that and it just isn't working. After all, how can people with no boundaries ever wake up? Yes, I will cry a river when they die...but I will also sigh a sigh of freedom.

My therapist years ago told me that I didn't need to move out of my home to individuate and separate from my parents, she said that I could be myself and grow that way even in their vicinity. I disagreed and moved out at the age of 21, with no money and two years of college to go. Shortly after telling me this stuff, my therapist asked my parents to join us for a session...and when they left she said that she understood completely why I had to leave. What is sad for me is that I still feel that the distance is not enough.

I don't want to move away or disappear, that is BS. A million miles away I would still be their daughter and all that baggage. Yup, just gotta be grateful that they are who they are, because without them, I wouldn't be who I am. And I like me. Most of the time.

Going to snuggle with my honey now...she's sleeping already, lucky girl.